Feudal Dregs - Chapter 37

Li Mingzheng personally fed Lan Yu the medicine. After a few sips, Lan Yu, still half-conscious, pushed the spoon away, finding the taste too bitter. More of the brown liquid spilled than made it into his mouth. Surprisingly patient—even amused—Li Mingzheng rubbed Lan Yu's damp lips with his fingertips before drinking the medicine himself. Then, tilting Lan Yu's chin up, he leaned down and transferred the bitter brew mouth-to-mouth, ensuring not a drop was wasted.

That night, Li Mingzheng slept in Lan Yu's room.

It was the first time they lay together in bed without doing anything at all.

Lan Yu's clothes had been completely removed, leaving him lying naked on the bed. As soon as Li Mingzheng climbed onto the couch, Lan Yu pressed close, curling into his embrace as if seeking warmth. His flushed, damp cheek pressed against the back of Li Mingzheng's hand, burning like a scalding furnace. Li Mingzheng replaced the cloth on his forehead and looked down at him, thinking to himself, "I thought he had more courage than this. Just witnessing one killing has frightened him into such a state."

Pinching Lan Yu's cheek with a hint of malice, Li Mingzheng mused, "With such cowardice, how dare he provoke me?"

Li Mingzheng personally tended to Lan Yu until late into the night. Burning with fever and delirious, Lan Yu began babbling incoherently—sometimes calling for his mother, at other times clutching Li Mingzheng's hand as silent tears streamed down his face. Frantic and fearful, he pleaded, "Save her... please save her."

Li Mingzheng's hand was wet with Lan Yu's tears. If tears could turn into pearls, he would have been holding a palmful of them. Watching Lan Yu's torment, he asked knowingly, "Save who?"

Lan Yu trembled, gripping Li Mingzheng's hand tightly. "Eighth Concubine... don't let her jump, don't let her die. Save her..."

After a long pause, Li Mingzheng finally spoke slowly, "If you wanted to save her, why didn't you?"

Lan Yu's fingers loosened, and his tears flowed even harder. With self-loathing and anguish, he sobbed, "...I couldn't. I didn't dare." Wiping the tears from Lan Yu's face, Li Mingzheng replied coolly, "You couldn't have saved her."

Lan Yu seemed trapped in a horrifying nightmare, his brows furrowed and his body drenched in cold sweat. Watching him struggle and weep, Li Mingzheng suddenly seized his chin and kissed him—forcefully, his tongue plunging deep into the moist heat of Lan Yu's mouth. That tongue, too, was feverish, flinching back in fear like a startled creature retreating in panic. Burning with fever, Lan Yu's breath was damp and scorching. In his delirium, he only felt the crushing weight of a heavy body pressing down on him, his mouth forced open as if swallowing a thick, coiling serpent that sucked and bit at his tongue until it ached and went numb. Still unsatisfied, it pushed deeper, invading his throat, his body, his very organs.

Overwhelmed by panic and breathlessness, Lan Yu hazily opened his eyes—only to see Li Mingzheng looming over him.

Their gazes locked.

Staring at Li Mingzheng, Lan Yu blurted out incoherently, "Li Mingzheng."

"I don't want to be thrown into the well."

To his surprise, Li Mingzheng smiled faintly—a rare sight. Pinching Lan Yu's soft lips, he murmured, "I won't throw you in."

But Lan Yu's eyes reddened again. "They will," he rambled in distress. "I saw them—the master, the mistress, so many people—they threw Eighth Concubine into the well."

Li Mingzheng said, "She jumped in herself."

Yet Lan Yu seemed not to hear, tears still falling. Li Mingzheng cupped his face, slowly wiping them away. After a moment, he simply kissed Lan Yu again, licking the damp trails on his cheeks. Suddenly, Lan Yu wrapped his arms around Li Mingzheng's neck as if clinging to a lifeline, sobbing softly, "Li Mingzheng, love me. Please, won't you love me?"

Li Mingzheng was momentarily stunned. In that instant, his heart tingled with a tenderness like flowing water, gently washing over every inch of his flesh and bones.

***

Li Ming'an hadn't slept all night, his mind filled with thoughts of the Eighth Concubine being thrown into the well. When the Fourth Concubine had suffered the same fate, he'd been too young to witness it firsthand, leaving only a vague memory—the Fourth Concubine was gone.

The servants all said she'd been unchaste, that she'd stolen another man. Their tones were full of disgust and schadenfreude. Li Ming'an only half-understood. When he asked his mother, she merely sighed deeply, her brows furrowed with worry, and said nothing.

In his dazed state, Li Ming'an seemed to walk back into the Li family ancestral hall. He became his childhood self again, watching as a woman whose face he couldn't see was dragged by her hair, screaming desperately, kicking wildly. Her hands clawed at the vermilion pillars, leaving sharp scratch marks.

An embroidered shoe was kicked loose and landed before Li Ming'an. He stared at it blankly, then ran forward, trying to pry loose the hands gripping the woman. But he was too small, too weak to make any difference.

With a dull thud, she was lifted upside down and dropped into the narrow, pitch-black well opening.

Li Ming'an woke with a start, his entire body chilled, crying out in terror as he sat bolt upright, his back soaked with cold sweat. His unfocused eyes stared fixedly at the bed curtains. Only after a long while did he hear his mother's voice.

"Ming'an, Ming'an," Madam Zhao said worriedly, gently patting his back. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Li Ming'an looked at her blankly. "Mother, I dreamed of the Fourth Concubine."

Madam Zhao's expression changed slightly. "Just a dream," she said quietly. "You were so young when she left. How could you remember her..."

"I really saw her," Li Ming'an insisted.

Madam Zhao wiped the sweat from his forehead and sighed deeply. "You were just frightened."

Back then, Li Ming'an had struggled fiercely, shouting, "Father, this is murder! Murder is against the law! You can't treat human life so carelessly!"

The Old Master Li remained unmoved. Servants pressed down hard on Li Ming'an's shoulders, forcing him to the ground. Madam Zhao's face was pale as she kept urging him to stop, to say no more.

Li Ming'an even threatened to report his father. Old Master Li looked coldly at mother and son and sneered. Then the Eighth Concubine threw herself into the deep well. Li Ming'an's pupils contracted sharply. The servants loosened their grip, and he scrambled forward on hands and knees—only to be seized again before he could reach the well.

He had failed to save the Eighth Concubine, just as he'd failed as a child.

His head throbbed with pain as he looked at his mother, his eyes red. "Mother, how could Father do such a thing? That was a human life... The times have changed. He should face legal consequences for this."

Madam Zhao gazed at her son's still-youthful face and said softly, "Don't talk nonsense."

"Even if the times have changed, the Li family hasn't."

"It should change!" Li Ming'an cried.

Madam Zhao asked, "Then what would you have us do? Report your own father?"

Li Ming'an pressed his lips together stubbornly. "Father is wrong! He's a murderer!"

Madam Zhao sighed. "He's your father. Filial piety comes first among all virtues. Since ancient times, what son has ever pointed out his father's faults?"

"Besides," she added quietly, "what fault has your father committed? Lady Zhang broke the family rules first."

Li Ming'an said, "It's wrong—what kind of family law is this? This is vigilantism! No one has the right to arbitrarily take a life!"

Zhao Shi looked at Li Ming'an, her tone hardening as she replied coldly, "Then do you want your father to pay with his life for her?" Li Ming'an fell silent.

Zhao Shi continued, "Do you realize that standing up for her yesterday could bring trouble upon yourself? If someone accuses you of colluding with Zhang Shi... what will you do?"

Li Ming'an was taken aback. "That's absurd—utter nonsense..." But under Zhao Shi's gaze, his voice gradually trailed off. He pressed his lips together and said, "If everyone turns a blind eye to injustice just to protect themselves, how much more suffering would there be in this world? Who would stand up for them then?"

"A man must know what is worth doing and what is not in his lifetime."

Zhao Shi studied Li Ming'an deeply and sighed, "I know you're a righteous child, Ming'an. But the world doesn't bend to our will."

Li Ming'an said nothing for a while before finally muttering, "I don't care about others. I only know that if everyone stays silent, this world will rot completely."

Zhao Shi had no retort. For a moment, she felt both pride and sorrow as she gazed at her son with pity, choosing not to argue further.

As the sun rose higher, the mother and son sat together for breakfast. One of Zhao Shi's maidservants mentioned offhandedly that Ninth Concubine had returned last night with a high fever and had been burning up all night.

Li Ming'an stiffened. "Was a physician called?"

The maid replied, "Yes, Old Physician Liu examined him."

Zhao Shi remarked, "He must have been frightened by the ordeal. Rest will help him recover."

Li Ming'an gave a vague acknowledgment, staring at his bowl of plain porridge, his appetite gone.

After breakfast, as Li Ming'an prepared to leave, Zhao Shi stopped him. "Ming'an, stay home these next few days."

Li Ming'an remained silent.

Zhao Shi pressed, "Your father will be in a foul mood. Don't provoke him."

Li Ming'an frowned. "Mother, I'm a person, not a plaything for Father to command. Must I obey him in everything, even when he's wrong? Am I not allowed to speak or act against it?"

Zhao Shi raised her voice. "Ming'an!"

Li Ming'an met her gaze, then relented after a tense moment. "Fine. I won't go out."

Zhao Shi asked, "Where were you planning to go?"

Their eyes locked, and Li Ming'an suddenly felt exposed under her scrutiny. He averted his gaze hastily. "Mother..."

Zhao Shi dismissed the servants and fixed her eyes on him. "You've never cared about your father's concubines before. Why Ninth Concubine—"

"I don't!" Li Ming'an cut in urgently.

A mother knows her son best. Zhao Shi's heart sank as she stared at him wordlessly.

Li Ming'an whispered, "I just pity him."

"You pity him?" Zhao Shi retorted. "A man who willingly became your father's concubine deserves pity, but what of the others? Are they not pitiable? Did they choose this life?"

She gripped his arm tightly. "Li Ming'an, don't be a fool. He's a man—and your father's concubine, your stepmother!"

Li Ming'an shuddered, staring at her in stunned silence, shame and distress flooding him. "Mother, I don't... I didn't..."

Madame Zhao forced a smile and said, "That's good to hear. I know you're a scholar who understands righteousness and principles. You know what should and shouldn't be done, don't you?"

Li Ming'an opened his mouth but found himself speechless under her gaze. After a long pause, he nodded heavily and replied, "Yes." He managed a strained smile, though his heart felt as if it had been torn open. Murmuring, "Mother, I understand."

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